Wendy's Story

Well, my story started off with me being a few days late with my period. I did a pregnancy test, but had done a few over the years so didn't really think anything of it! When I saw the blue lines appear in both boxes, I kept it in my drawer at work and checked it every few minutes!!! This was unplanned-I had been with my partner for 2.5 years and we hadn't made any plans to marry as yet, although we knew we would at some stage! When I got home from work, Paul was lying on the carpet. My words to him were "best you stay there" and handed him the pregnancy test indicator!

I was spotting a little bit, but my mum reassured me that she spotted right thru her pregnancy with me so I kinda thought it might be normal. I made an appointment with my doctor and went to see her. She said that I was probably miscarrying and shouldn't worry. That was on Monday. I was having a lot of lower back pain-light bad period pains. On Saturday, I phoned the emergency doctor on call and told him my symptoms. Again he told me "don't worry, it's normal if you miscarry, so just relax and take it easy". Nobody mentioned ectopic to me at all.

Paul and I had been reading a woman's weekly magazine the week before, and strangely, there was an article about a woman who died from an ectopic pregnancy! He told me "maybe that's what is wrong with you, and if it is just a case of being pregnant, can you cope with nine months of this?!?". I went back to the doctor on Monday and he sent me off to the Casualty Department of my local hospital. I had an internal scan, and an ultrasound where they found nothing at all. They then took blood tests and told me that I need to come back the next night (24 hours later) for another blood test. They say that your blood levels double if it is ectopic. Strangely enough, they also kept saying that you would have pain in your shoulder blades from trapped wind if you had an ectopic-I didn't! My mother arrived from South Africa for a holiday on Wednesday morning. She took one look at me with a hot water bottle clutched at my back and burst into tears! I didn't think I looked that bad!

I went in and had the further blood tests done. The following evening the hospital called and said I had to come in immediately. I got there at 8:00 P.M. in the evening and went into theatre at 10:00 P.M. The following weeks were horrendous for pain and emotions. Nobody can ever understand what you have been through unless they have been there themselves. It's not only the fact of losing a baby, but being told that you would have died had they not found it in time either. My husband (we were married on the day of the my operation 1 year later-a memorial day for me in more ways than one), doesn't seem to understand that I feel very emotional at times and now really want to start trying for a baby despite us not being 100% financially sound right now-I will only get the standard government monies each week as I have just started a permanent job. I hope that I too will be able to carry and hold my own baby. I have SO much love to give and am so desperate to try now. How do I carry that over to him?

Good luck to all out there who have gone thru this, and for a terrific site which allows us to talk.

Wendy & Jelly Bean