Melissa's Story

I found out I was pregnant on a Thursday evening, after having gone for a blood test at my doctor's office. Having not planned the pregnancy, it was a total shock. Because I was still getting used to the idea, I didn't tell my boyfriend Sean right away. Two days later (on Saturday), I was in the ER from heavy bleeding and cramping. I thought for sure that I had lost the baby. At this point, I had only told one friend, and she was the one who took me to the hospital. I felt very alone though, wishing Sean was there. At the hospital, they told me it was a "threatened miscarriage" and to take it very easy for the next few days. They had done a blood test and an ultrasound. The blood test showed my HCG had only gone up slightly from the first test on Thursday, and the ultrasound showed nothing. I had to return to the hospital for another blood test within 24 hours. This test also showed only a slight increase in my HCG level from Saturday.

I was on vacation the next week with my family and Sean, and the whole time trying to find the words to tell him what was happening. I was in contact with my doctor during this week and I was told there was a 50/50 chance I had miscarried. They would need another blood test when I got back. The following Monday, I went in for yet another blood test and ultrasound. The ultrasound wasn't conclusive enough so the FNP suggested I go to the imaging center for a better test. The doctor overheard the order and rescinded it saying it was too early to see anything, and that it wasn't a viable pregnancy and handed me brochures on miscarriage.

The very next morning, I called in for results of my blood test, and called again in the afternoon. Finally the FNP called me back around 4:00. Although I had been bleeding for 13 days straight by then, I had very little pain. What pain I did have was sort of coming in waves on the right side of my lower abdomen. Nothing in the shoulder blades as I had read might occur. The FNP was going to call in a Vicodin prescription and send me to the hospital for another ultrasound to "put my mind at ease." When I got there I waited 45 minutes before I was seen. Lying there during the ultrasound, I could tell the technician was seeing something wrong. After she was done, they had me wait while they called the doctor on call. He called me back and told me over the phone what they had seen, an 8-week ectopic pregnancy in my right tube, and they wanted me in surgery ASAP.

I called my parents, Sean, and Deena (the one friend who had known since the beginning), and they all (plus a few more friends raced to the hospital). Sean was out of town on business and was 7 hours away. By then I had been on Demerol for 30 minutes and although I was coherent, I only wanted to sleep. They did all the work-ups there and then I was wheeled upstairs into another room in the surgery unit. There I met the anesthesiologist who asked me questions, and then finally the doctor who explained a few things. He would have to take the tube out before it ruptured. Sean still wasn't there and I was being wheeled into surgery. I desperately wanted to see him before, just in case. The last thing I remember was seeing all the lights overhead in the OR.

When I finally woke up, Sean was there, as were my parents. I was in a lot of pain, and very out of it still. But they sent me home, and Sean took care of me for the next few days. It wasn't until then we could grieve together for our lost child-until he was certain I would be alright. The 11th will be three weeks since the surgery and I am still emotionally a wreck. Physically the scars are healing, although inside it doesn't feel quite right yet. I am so afraid of this happening again. Or what if I can't get pregnant easily with only one tube. What if the other side is now damaged? A million what if's go through my mind. What if my doctor hadn't rescinded the original ultrasound order and it had been caught it in time?

We will start counseling next week which I am looking forward to. I don't want to live with these fears. Hopefully when we get pregnant again we will be married, and everything will go right next time!