The person involved in this situation has filed a bogus abuse report regarding this page.  I have found that I am NOT in violation of ANY terms of my service provider.  This is a privately owned website, and unless I commit any illegal acts, I may post whatever I wish on this site.  NO portion of this website will be altered in ANY way in light of the abuse report.

On February 29, 2000 I discovered that Tucker's first memorial had been removed from another memorial site (see A Memorial Site for All?) . After confronting the owner of this site, women who had signed my dreambook for ectopic pregnancy began receiving e-mails regarding their use of methotrexate in resolution of their ectopic pregnancy. It was later determined that the owner of the memorial site and the sender of said harassing e-mails was the same person. The sender of these e-mails had to chose to induce her fourth pregnancy at a time when that child could not have survived. In light of this, her attacks on other women are just baffling.

The public outcry regarding these harassing e-mails had been overwhelming. Anger has been expressed, and while many would like to seek revenge on this person, I don't believe that is advisable or attainable, nor would it change what has already happened. WHAT CAN YOU DO? If you own a website (national or private), PLEASE link to this page! While you may have not experienced an ectopic pregnancy, your pregnancy loss could become the target of such harassment!

*You will notice that certain sentences have been highlighted where I express my feelings on same. The e-mails are presented in their entirety, so that "both sides of the story" are given. The return codes are saved on my computer, so that there will be no doubt as to whether these e-mails are genuine.

Copy of e-mail sent from alias sue stra (same Susan as depicted in A Memorial Site for All?-confirmed by posting on another pregnancy loss list) to a woman who had signed my dreambook. This was obviously done with intent to hurt me and the women that I care about. Note that the date is the same day that Susan wrote to me regarding the removal of Tucker's memorial (see A Memorial Site for All?):

From: sue stra <(sic)>

To: NAME REMOVED TO PROTECT RECIPIENT

Sent: Monday, February 28, 2000 2:30 PM

Subject: Concerning methotrexate

> I saw your message online and thought you should know that methotrexate is > immoral to use. Of course, since you cannot reverse what already happened, > perhaps you could look further into the case of methotrexate so that others > will not make the same mistake and allow doctors to use this. From what I > have learned only surgery is moral regarding ectopic pregnancy and not the > use of this drug which actually kills the unformed baby first before > actually regarding the real problem at hand

Post made to my dreambook apologizing to anyone who had received such an e-mail:

KRISTA-WEBMASTER

FIRST, I want to apologize to any of you who have been contacted by someone spouting religious epitaphs regarding ectopic pregnancy. Please be assured that I will swiftly handle any and all future harrassment of this nature. To the FREAK who has been writing to the women listed on this dreambook: if you want to pick on someone, try me. I guarantee that you don't want to continue to mess with the women who sign here, or my site in general. Unless YOU have experienced an ectopic pregnancy, mind your own business. If you have, the same applies. If you want be God and judge, do it elsewhere. It will NOT be tolerated in any way in conjunction with ectopicpregnancy.com Any more threatening e-mails sent to the women who post here will be posted on the site, ALONG with your e-mail address...

Tuesday February 29th 2000 04:24:54

My e-mail to sue stra/Susan:

First and foremost, I have placed a note on the ectopic pregnancy dreambook regarding your mail to (sic), and any future mail that you choose send out to women on that dreambook. All e-mails that you send will be posted on the site, along with your e-mail address. I have contacted each and every person who has signed the dreambook, and they have been asked to send any such messages to me.

Secondly, these women are not scared nor threatened by your moral claims. Only God knows what is right and wrong. Actually, I have an entire page on methotrexate being added to the site next week. Having gone through the terror of surgery, many of these women would take the metho if given the option.

"use of this drug which actually kills the unformed baby first before actually regarding the real problem at hand" These babies are not "unformed" and the real problem at hand cannot be addressed at the point of metho/surgery.

Third, I believe that I know who you are. If I am correct, you could have chosen a better alias to write to these women. Should I determine that you are whom I think you are, everyone I plan on writing about your other practices, will also receive a copy of any e-mails that you send to women on my site.

I am sick and tired of others spouting about ectopics, when they have never had to go through it. If you made a choice that you harbor guilt over, it doesn't give you the right to try to change the minds of women in other situations.

You may consider this your last warning, as I will not tolerate harassment or condemnation of women who have gone through a pregnancy loss.

Krista

Webmistress, http://www.ectopicpregnancy.com

E-mail sent from Onica Terrel (also Susan):

From: (sic) (Onica Terrel)

Like you I have many email addresses. I noticed you forwarded my email address to those who wrote in your guestbook.

I have one e-mail address, as stated above, and do not feel the need to hide behind another name.

Personally, they place their email online for anyone to write to them, so it has nothing to do with you. I told them what was told to me about ectopic pregnancy procedures and these sources were very good. If they did not want anyone to write to them, they should not place their email address online.

I feel that this basically says that a woman is setting herself up for harassment if she pours her heart out anywhere on the Internet. Susan's "sources" are a Catholic website, and to the best of my knowledge, this is her only source.

Secondly, don't bother writing back, as unlike you...I can return your email to you unread and personally I don't want to read your mail anymore because all it does is spew hate.

I feel that Susan returns e-mails when she is not hearing what she wants to hear, and has now gone so far as to lie and state that all of her e-mails are being "screened".

Your attempt to gain public sympathy from the support list members was totally inappropriate. Why? Because the issue had a reason and it was a disagreement between us, not the community. Your attempt to bring this public is only an outcry to gain support where you know the truth has not yet been spoken.

The only sympathy I am trying to gain is for the removal of Tucker's memorial. As for the truth, it is all here for you all to read.

I did not go around shaming you for your callousness to other people. Nor have I talked about you or revealed your name even to my husband. I don't do such things because it's wrong to accuse other people. I truthfully removed your memorial page because that's what I thought you preferred. You could ahve written to me and asked me why it wasn't there and told me civilly that you were upset rather than lash out and threaten me. Because of this I feel you cannot reason things correctly concerning this issue and have decided not to even read your email anymore. You obviously have blocked out the truth and only want to spread accusations. But I will defend myself and those I have already spoken with privately realize that I have spent years helping other people and that my intentions are never bad. Trying to turn people against me is wrong and you know that...and they know that. It's childish and immoral.

I have never been callous to anyone regarding pregnancy loss. IF she can prove this, I will be happy to answer any charges of this nature.

As for the ectopic issue on the drug. I wrote to two women about what I knew, not you. Tell them not to put their email address if they don't wish others to contact htem. I feel they have a right to know about everything concerning the medical procedures because doctors are not righteous and some of their methods are wrong. They have every right to form their own opinion based on the facts I send to them. If they wish to discuss it further they can look it up online. But you have no place in the matter. I advice that if you do not wish others to contact your guestbook visitors then tell them to remove their email address.

Once again, if you express your emotions, you are inviting harassment and unwanted advice from someone who has never experienced what you have. Sad, really sad.

E-mail that I feel should be posted here. Amy gave permission for it's placement on this page

Krista,

As far as the attack on those who have used metho, whoever it is behind it, I am apalled that someone would question the morals. I have used metho twice, and I will not say that it has been easy. But, my decision for that treatment was easier than the decision I had to make for the d&c. With my first ep, when it was still unknown whether I was miscarrying or having an ep, the drs gave me my options. They were pretty much the d&c, go home to see if my body would miscarry (with the understanding that if was ep I would be much worse off upon return), and let them look for it doing the belly button thing (what is that called?). I considered going home bc I didn't want to accept that I was losing the baby and thought that maybe it would all get better. I had to seriously consider what I was doing. I decided on the d&c and ,while waiting to find out if there was any evidence of a pg, tortured myself with what if the baby was in there and everything would have been fine. My decision to use this option and be treated with metho was influenced by many things. The two biggest were my daughter and my husband. I believe I made the best decision for myself at the time, although now I would opt for surgery since it would be the 3rd time. I do not regret my decision. I never will. For someone to question my morals bc I had a procedure done to save myself and make sure my family has me around for at least a little bit longer really irritates me. When this accuser is in the situation, she is free to make whatever decision is right for her. She does NOT have the right to judge me bc of mine! And again, I would like to reassert that the decision to have the d&c was much harder than my decision to use metho.

That being said, I will go now. Sorry for the length, but the fact that someone ridiculed my decision just really p&@%es me off. Especially one regarding such a sensitive subject.

Krista, if you like, you can post this somewhere that the author of these rude e-mails can see it.

Okay, that is really it.

Amy