Denise's Story

I've had two ectopics. The first was 11 years ago, on my right side, when my first son was two years old. I went to the doctor because I had a nagging pain on my lower right side that just wouldn't go away. I remember lying on my back, probing the area with my fingers and feeling a grape-size lump. I thought I had ovarian cancer. It never occurred to me that I was pregnant-though we were trying, I'd just had a period. Looking back, I realize that my period had been very light and spotty, but at the time I didn't think anything of it.

At that time, the only treatment for an ectopic pregnancy was surgery. I didn't really have time to get scared. I was diagnosed and then, boom!-I was in surgery a couple hours later. It hadn't ruptured, and the good news was that they were able to save my tube. At least I thought it was good news at the time-now I'm not so sure. 

Less than a year later, I became pregnant again. Though I was very, very nervous, an early ultrasound showed that the baby was in the uterus. Massive relief! My son Cody was born, and then two years later, my daughter, Chelsea. Truthfully, over the years, my ectopic faded into a fuzzy memory. Life went on, and I eventually got divorced.

In June 1995, I met the wonderful guy who is now my fiance, Ely. He's younger than me and has no kids of his own. One of the first things he asked me when we started to get serious was, "Would you consider having more children?" Of course! Nothing would make me happier than to have a baby with Ely. So, this past July 7, when we found out that I was pregnant, we were thrilled. We told the whole world, and I mean, the whole world! He put the news up on his website, he was so happy and proud.

Then, on July 10, I was sitting right here at the computer when I suddenly felt a sickeningly familiar pain in my lower right side. I tried to tell myself it was nothing, that it was probably just ligaments stretching or something (yeah, right-at 5 weeks?). After all, I wasn't bleeding or anything. I wasn't even spotting (and never did, this time). I even lay down on the couch and slept for a couple hours. But when I woke up, the pain was worse, and I was getting scared. Ely was at work, and I was home with the kids and no car. But I still didn't want to call him! How could I tell him what I thought was happening? Finally, I had to. I was starting to feel like I was going to pass out. My hands were tingling and I broke out into a cold sweat, and the kids could tell something was wrong.

When he came home, I was in such bad shape that he had to carry me out to the car. We dropped off the kids at my ex-husband's house, but I told them first that mommy probably wasn't going to be having a baby after all. They had been so excited, and I didn't want them to have false expectations. When we got to the hospital, Ely ran inside like a madman to get me a wheelchair. He had no thoughts about the baby at this point. He was only concerned for me. And then-this is funny, we laughed like crazy about this later-he forgot about the car and left it running for six hours! (Good thing we had a full tank of gas.)

Once inside, I told everyone we saw to check for an ectopic, but I don't think they believed me at first. A doctor came in and gave me a very rough internal, and almost sent me through the ceiling. Ely almost killed him. I hadn't yet cried up until this point, but when that doctor left, I lost it. I just sobbed in Ely's arms. The pain now seemed to be spread throughout my entire abdomen, and my stomach was very bloated and distended. I knew it was blood. It was starting to sink in-this really was happening to me again. I was going to get cut open again. They finally, finally did a vaginal ultrasound and confirmed what I had been telling them all for hours. I had an ectopic in my right tube that had ruptured, and I would need immediate surgery.

I was just so damn sad, more for Ely than for myself. I also knew what lay ahead for me and that the next few weeks would be no picnic. This time they were not able to save my tube, but frankly I'm glad to have it out of there at this point. I'm just hoping that the remaining one is still in good working condition, because we do want to try again.