My ectopic pregnancy happened almost 18 years ago, and it is still with me to this day.  I was 17 years old and in high school.  I became pregnant the first time I had intercourse, which I did not find out until my tube burst a month and a half later.  I was late with my period in December, and then it was very light, but I did not think much of it at the time.  In mid-January, I went to Planned Parenthood to get birth control.  They did an exam and checked for pregnancy and all was "supposedly" fine.  I left with my pills and was supposed to start them after my next cycle.  I started having pains on my left side that got so severe that I was doubling over in pain.  My mom took me to the hospital on the Sunday before I miscarried.

They asked if I could be pregnant and I said yes, since I had been having intercourse without protection.  They ran tests and said that I had a urinary tract infection and sent me home.  I stayed home from school until Friday.  I stayed in bed the whole week because I was in pain and tired and dizzy.  On Friday morning, I decided that I should get up and go to school.  I took a shower and went to get dressed.  As soon as I tried to close the zipper and button on my pants I had a very sharp pain on my left side and I started to pass out.  I went to get my mom to take me back in to the hospital, but she did not think it was anything more than what we had been to the doctor for earlier that week.  She had told me to lay down and rest and she would take me in later.  I was having fainting spells, so I went and got my sister who was old enough to drive and had her drive me in.

On the way there I kept telling my sister to go faster and then yelling at her to slow down because I was in so much pain when she went over a bump.  When I got to the hospital, I had no blood pressure or pulse.  They still had no idea what was going on.  I just remember screaming to give me something for the pain.  They were trying to do vaginal exams, but I could not even straighten out to let them.  They were finally going to send me to a room because they still did not know what the problem was.  Finally, an OB doctor came in and figured it out or just took me into surgery to check it out.  I really do not know to this day if he knew before the surgery or if he figured it out during the surgery that I was pregnant.

I finally went in to have surgery.  I remember being very much at peace with knowing that the pain was finally going to end.  The next thing I remember was waking up in the recovery room.  There was a nurse there, and I immediately asked her if I was pregnant.  She said that I was but that I lost the baby.  I specifically remember her saying, "but don't worry, you can have more children".  I also remember the doctor telling me that there was a one in a million chance that this happens to people.  I was an emotional mess for a long time after that.  It was emotionally too much for a 17 year old to deal with.  My boyfriend had left me a week before I miscarried.

 

I met my husband 8 1/2 years ago and we were married 7 1/2 years ago.  I told him from the beginning that I may not be able to have children.  I learned between the time of the miscarriage and the time I married my husband that it may not be so easy for me to get pregnant again or to have a normal pregnancy.  He still wanted to marry me and try.  We worked on getting pregnant for five years before giving up.  During those five years and even now, if I am even a few days late, I panic if my period does not come.  I am so afraid of having another ectopic pregnancy that I just panic. 

 

We adopted our son a year and a half ago, and he is the best thing in the whole world.  I love him so much.  His name is Cristopher.  We adopted him from the Philippines.  He was almost 3 years old when we brought him home.

 

We have continued to use no birth control since we would still love to have another child and we always figured that if it happens it happens and if it does not it does not.  But last month I did not get my period and I still have not gotten it yet this month.  I do not trust test results, as I had many during my last pregnancy and they told the doctors nothing.  I have had anultra sound which has shown only a cyst on my left side, which is not even where my pain is.  I know I have no appendix anymore.  Today my doctor said that we need to do another pregnancy test.  I am having dizzy spells, missed periods and fatigue.  I am in full panic mode.  I feel that I need to either get my tubes tied or have my husband have a vasectomy.  As much as I would love to have another child in my life, I am so afraid of getting pregnant even after all these years.