Christina's Story 

My story started over 10 years ago. I got pregnant very young and had a beautiful daughter. I then married her father at the age of 17. A few months later, I realized I was pregnant again. We had a very violent relationship and my husband was furious, He told me if I didn't have an abortion he would divorce me, and take my daughter. Because he was a few years older he convinced me that a judge would never pick a 17 year old with no job over him as the main caregiver. I was scared and young and agreed to the abortion.  I to this day regret this decision. A few months later I was pregnant again, (my husband refused to wear condoms and wouldn't give me money for the pill).  This time I didn't tell him until I was 4 months pregnant-again he was furious and said it was all my fault. He didn't speak to me for most of the pregnancy, He again told me that he would leave me and take the kids if I didn't have my tubes tied. I gave in and had my tubes tied two weeks after having my son. (My husband then wouldn't touch me because he said the thrill was gone now that I couldn't get pregnant). We divorced in 1994. In 1996, I married a wonderful man with no children of his own. After talking to doctors we decided to fix my tubes with surgery.

On January 4th, I realized my period was late.  I took an EPT test, and it was +! I was so excited, as was everyone we told. I didn't feel that great. I had a cramp in my right side, but didn't think it was anything to worry about. Boy, was I wrong. The next day I woke up feeling worse, more cramps (all on the right side) and I was running a fever. I went to the doctor and he ordered an HCG test.  I was to return in two days for the second test, but the next day I was worse.  I called the doctor again and was told to come right in.  He ordered the 2nd HCG test, my numbers had dropped from 72 to 50.  This wasn't a good sign and they sent me to the hospital for surgery.

By the time we got there, I had started spotting. Then my doctor arrived to tell me that I had to wait while he delivered twins and it would be a few hours before my surgery. That was quite a slap in the face. I spent the next five hours crying my heart out. I thought for sure God was punishing me for the abortion and I felt he had every right too. I went into surgery around 7 P.M. on January 8, 1998. They were able to save my tube.  We went home sometime after midnight. I awoke the next morning to vomiting, and I thought I was still pregnant.  I begged my husband to go get a test, which came back negative.

I was very depressed for months, I became obsessed with trying to conceive. Intercourse was always planned. No wasted sperm was acceptable to me. I took my temperature religiously. I did everything the doctor told me. I read everything I could get my hands on about conceiving. I was very well informed. I kept a diary every day of my cycle for the month of March.  I recorded any cramping, etc. On day 21 of my cycle, I started using HPT tests.  I knew it was to early but I had to know. Everyday till the end of my cycle I took a test until finally on day 29 it came back positive!  Again, I was so excited. I went right to the doctor's office for a blood test to confirm the pregnancy. It came back negative.

I couldn't believe it.  I went to the store and bought four more tests, and they all came back positive!  I called the doctor's office again and they sent me to the hospital for HCG blood work. Test results were only 31.  The doctor was very concerned about another ectopic. Two days later, more blood work-it came back at 184! The number only had to double, and the doctor said this was great news. I started to have some cramping later that night, so I called the OB/GYN.  I was told (by a nurse) not to worry, that  some woman experience some cramping-I wasn't to worry, the pregnancy was progressing normally.

For seven days, I had cramping off and on on my left side.  Each time I asked to talk to the doctor a nurse told me not to worry. Then the cramping stopped. I thought the nurses were right, and I started to get really excited.  My husband and I picked out a name.  Nicole Lynda Mylin (Nicki Lynn),  after my husbands mother who had passed away. I had six more days with no cramping, and on the day of my first official OB/GYN appointment I saw my doctor.  He was very worried when I told him about the cramping I had early on in the pregnancy.  He sent me right over to the hospital for a pelvic ultrasound, and a stat HCG. The numbers came back at 7888! The ultrasound didn't detect an egg sac in the uterus, and my doctor wanted to do another laporoscopy.

I said, "No!".  This wasn't happening-I was having a normal pregnancy! I left the hospital. The doctor called and begged me to come back in again, but I refused.  I did agree to see him again in the morning.  He told me to go right to the hospital if I had anymore cramping.  I told him not to worry, that I was fine and everything would be okay. It was just a mistake. That night while watching ER, I started to feel like I had to have a bowel movement.  I went to the bathroom and sat down.  I was overcome with so much pain that I couldn't even get back up.  I started to sweat really bad and all the blood drained from my face. I screamed for my husband who had to dress me and help me to the car. By the time we arrived at the hospital, I couldn't even stand-the pain was that intense. I passed out and awoke a few hours later to be told that my right tube had ruptured.  My pregnancy was over, and that I had almost died from severe internal bleeding.

My normal, beautiful pregnancy was over and I truly wished the doctor had let me die. I still can't deal with all this very well. It happened so quick. They gave me a colored picture of my babies head protruding from the tube.  It's suppose to bring me closure, the doctor said. It just brings me great sadness. Two years passed on April 16, 2000. It still hurts. Since then, I have conceived six times the natural way with my one remaining tube. I always miscarry before the 6th week. I will continue to try. I feel I have been punished enough for the abortion and that God will realize that I am a good person. I was just in a very bad place when that happened. Thank you for listening. I feel so much better knowing that people understand.