It all started in November. I started to have really bad cramps in my right abdomen. I was really nervous because I just didn't know I was pregnant. I was a first time mom, and in the last week of November, I just had light cramps. I began bleeding and I just thought that it was my period and just didn't give it another thought. I thought, "Oh well, I guess I'm not pregnant." I was wrong...
That bleeding meant that I was having a miscarriage, but I really didn't noticed until December 3, 2001. I entered the emergency room and they began doing tests. Finally, they told me that I was pregnant. They gave me an ultrasound, but they couldn't find my son. I was 8 weeks pregnant. At last they told me that I had an ectopic pregnancy and that I had to have emergency surgery.
All that week, I was really suffering-knowing that I was going to lose my baby and that I couldn't have him in my arms. I kept crying every time they would come to the room and check to see how I was. The thing that hurt the most was that they were really concerned about my health more than they where about my baby. I had to wait for the OB to come and tell me when they were going to do my surgery. She told me it was going to be December 7th.
I felt really guilty that I couldn't do anything to save my baby. I really wanted him with me. I felt even more guilty not knowing that in my womb I had been carrying my baby for 8 weeks. I began to cry because it was really my fault by not knowing that I was pregnant. I kept thinking that if I had known from the very start I would have been able to save my baby. Now even though he is not with me, I always think of him as my little boy. My little Angel.